Finding my way

Frustration seeps into the corners of my mind
Like incessant rain through a cement roof
Dampening the walls
And chasing the lizards off on to the floor.

It fills the boundaries
Suffusing every thought with a must
That dulls incisive clarity
And breeds a cloud of irrational emotional fungus.

A soggy painting on the damp cement wall
The only constant goal of my life-
To make my parents proud.
A humid depression hangs over my actions.

And in everything I do, I seek approval
As a pointless moth flutters around a tube-light
I yearn for the impossible-
That glass-encased, blinding certainty.

My choices, like cobwebs, ensnare my thoughts
In soft threads of lethal possibility
Branching off into the elusive limbs of time
With the occasional scuttling spider.

The rain pounds cracks into my roof
And I stumble out, into the torrential downpour of reality.
Soaked to the core of my being,
I squint against the watery blur of doubt.

Until finally, I cease to fight it.
Arms outstretched, face lifted to the sky, I glory in it,
Embracing the cleansing downpour at it’s splattering best
Unstructured, untethered and tumultous in its beauty… Life.